Last night’s class went surprisingly well! The dance gods must have heard me!! I felt strong and did all the combinations. I struggle with my fouettés still, but that’s to be expected. My pirouettes were decent. I’m still having trouble landing back in fifth position. It’s like my mind gets it, but my legs and body just aren’t getting message. I can’t bring my foot back down in time to land it in fifth, instead I just keep spinning and land almost in a fourth position instead. Blah. On a good note….I finally landed a double pirouette on my left. That was a huge sigh of relief. I was beginning to think my body would never get around more than once on that side. They still need a lot of work though. My chaînés were back on track for the most part. I’m doing something screwy with my hands now…it’s always something! Hah! Overall ballet class went great for me. I “attacked” everything instead of simply just “trying”. I had the chance to talk with my teacher yesterday for about 2.5 hours. She was concerned about my attitude from class on Monday and had wanted to talk about it. She boosted my confidence and told me that I could not quit or give up. She doesn’t care if I don’t hit each move, she just wants to see me try. She explained the needing to “attack” every move. Having this in my mind pushed me. I found myself pushing through every combination and set of turns. And because I did this, I landed my double pirouette on my left. I did my chaînés across the floor. And in pointe class, I finally made it across the floor on my right side without stopping. It wasn’t totally pretty, but I did it. I was so proud of myself. And so was my teacher.
So from now on, I will not be trying. I will be attacking. See ya later dance gods!! I don’t need you! I just need to believe in myself.