I’ve really been struggling lately. My classes have been horrible. I’m struggling with what I want out of this. I take 6 hours of lessons a week. My Monday night classes are exhausting. I do pointe in my first class for about 1.5 hours then go straight into a 2 hour ballet class. I do ok until about the last 30-45 min. The combinations she starts doing are way more advanced than I should be doing. I get fatigued and frustrated. I don’t want to work on things that are out of my technique range. I want to work on things that are so that I can improve upon those. It’s just always frustrating. Each week I just get more and more upset. I’m starting to think about dropping this class next session. Recently I just feel like I’m all over the place. I never know what we’re going to be doing in class each week outside of our basic warm ups. Keep in mind there’s only me and my BFF in this class, the rest are all kids 10-16. So it’s not like its a class geared towards “adult ballet”. That’s the one thing I miss about my other studio. I miss being in an “adult ballet” class. I liked knowing what we were working on and what I was capable of. I was challenged with new technique that I was capable of starting to work on. I didn’t feel rushed. But I like my new studio too. I do like the girls I dance with and our teacher is an amazing dancer herself. I could just watch her dance all day. I like most of my classes, it’s just this one on Mondays I’m having a problem with. She said we would probably start to struggle as they started doing more advanced technique. And well, she was right. Well, at least I’m struggling.
I guess when it comes down to it, I just simply miss having a structured adult ballet class. Taking class with kids is fun, but it’s not the same. I can’t have it all though!! Who knows. Maybe I’m just in a ballet rut right now. I just feel like my whole life is consumed by it right now when I want this to just be a hobby. I don’t have time, or the energy, to do any of the other hobbies I enjoy doing. Sigh. I don’t know what I want.
I’m hoping, really hoping, that my Thursday classes go better than last nights. *my fingers (and toes!!) are crossed*